"I, [Name], the eye of the beholder, solemnly swear upon the principles of Zaddyology to uphold truth, fairness, and unwavering consistency in all matters of judgment upon the apples of my eye.

I vow to judge with clarity, to remain true to my own desires, and to never waver in my standards, no matter the temptation.

I swear to honor the essence of erection, to recognize both the tangible and the intangible, and to never deceive myself or others in my assessments.

Above all, I pledge to be true to myself, for only through authenticity can the rankings hold meaning in my own life.

So it is spoken, so it shall be ranked. And sail free to new London."

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